Nov 15 2018


Nov 16 2018


Nov 17 2018


Nov 18 2018


Nov 19 2018

Well I am an expert back of scooter rider now and I'm getting there with the riding a scooter I even rode home in the dark about 4km with chotu on the back which is cool however I'm gonna skip the vaccine for now until it is easier to get hold of, as I have to find a pharmacy that stocks the vaccine and take it to a doctor to inject me, I rode all the way to mapusa public hospital all for nothing and then to soliem and to arambol and we walked up and down the beach and i had my first fresh coconut which was amazing i feel a little worse for wear as i didnt sleep last night, anyway tomorrow we move into the new place and after it is all sorted i shall be making tracks in my development and sim card shall also be working by then, so i can start on my 365 days of circus, as well as writing out the plans for a mango proposal and some prelim work for the ngo thing, second will be to sort the garden space to make it good to spin fire rope dart in, and teach the local kids some drama games to improve my clown skills. anyway so many plans and today i got next to nothing done considering. as a side not I'm a big fan of all the street animals, there are so many street cows, beach dogs, cats, chickens pigs and goats it's definitely odd to have to watch out for cows in the road on the scooter at night


Nov 22 2018

DAY 10

Nov 24 2018

today was a chilled out day i didnt sleep to well and had many odd dreams, mostly fears and hopes but i did get fuel and meet a fellow fire spinner, i also had a bbq with a chicken that was alive minutes before we bought it oh and i got my ears cleaned on the beach, cleansed my crystals stsrted my planking and headstand practice and wrote a self care list, this evening i watched purfume which was an interesting film i didnt get much circus in today so i guess i can spend the morning reading and as time goes on ill collate and put together the different drama games to build my characters, just need a clown partner, oh well, i feel like my trip to hempi on sunday will be nice ill rent a scooter and return to the house the day after. i am enjoying life in goa but i still miss my nearest and dearest. ive started to write more and more which is good considering im supposed to be working on my play.
i am and i have another niggling project, a rough idea that i spent a whild wittling out a while ago that i need to put into a different format and get a to do list that doesnt annoy me, i know colour note does the same but i need a different app... anyway im just procrastinating before sleep.

DAY 11

Nov 25 2018

DAY 13

Nov 27 2018

DAY 14

Nov 28 2018

DAY 15

Nov 29 2018

DAY 16

Nov 30 2018

DAY 18

Dec 02 2018

DAY 19

Dec 03 2018

DAY 21

Dec 05 2018

today i made a spannish omlette and woke up about 9 and read in bed for a bit, and still feeling tired i made lemon and ginger coffee, cooked a spanish omlette and a softened veg curry on the side for me and chotu packed lunch and got on my ped and went to the eye of buddha for a bit, went through a load of music go pick a song i settled on koto by clozee for now but i do like others its just for me that song has so much flow so sorry charlie. i also rewrote my play on the notes for the first time and sent it to people so i hope it will be recieved well, as there will be clarifications and criticisms to take on board if you want to see it it is pasted below. anyway i met tanya and went to sweetlake to practice after hydrating properly, and finishing one of my main tasks, we practiced span fire and i went to smoke with sherif and took him to totem on my scooter, i met the people there that fire spin and im going to go to their space to do some fire spinning and teach them some things, next stop costume that is ninja cool to wear and covers my skin, and after that i ended up chilling in rockiz with tanya and some others and talking a bit, met with laurain too as the party had a crap vibe and she wanted to smoke a j with me, from the other night, anyway im quite proud of my play...
A script that's not my own

Act 1 the disarray

Scene 1 the symbolic realm:

The scene is set with four shelves running diagonally to the front of the stage so the audience can see between each one and there is another shelf at the back to the stage left to create an area for the protagonist to start, there is a checkout to stage right where stands a checkout person.

Scene opens with the protagonist sat on the ground stage left amongst a pile of random largish objects that's are different primary colours, they start to organise the items onto the shelves until they seem relatively content, then the rest of the scene get a lit as if it were a supermarket and there is now the chorus messing with the order of things, shopping and coming into the protagonists isle, moving things around and generally putting things into bags to in order to head to the check out.
The protagonist is flitting between reorganizing this new space and their space, and trying to do some shopping the chorus are doing much the same but either avoiding or getting in the way of the protagonist then heading to the checkout to exit stage right, the protagonist is showing more and more tension as the scene develops and the scene ends with the protagonists forced interaction with the checkout staff, think no eye contact and no personal contact at all and puts money on the checkout before looking back at the mess of the scene and exiting swiftly, there are supermarket noises going on over the speaker and the cost of the item is said also over the speaker and not by the character.
End scene

Scene 2 a script that's not my own:

The scene is set with all of the shelves pushed to the back of the stage, a stage to stage right. There are stacks of manuals, books, scripts and paper stacked on the shelves and tables that are across the middle of the stage

The scene opens to a busy coffee shop the chorus are sat around the space at the tables on the stage, the lighting is daytime. The protagonist enters the cafe and from this time there is an audible din coming over the speakers of people speaking in different languages getting louder and louder, my protagonist tries to sit with a group but they blank them, they then look through one of the books and tries again this time with a different group the chorus change position, every few minutes or so interacting with each other, but not with the protagonist, the protagonist gets more and more frustrated as the chorus treat them with indifference to avoidance, as the protagonist gets more frustrated they go from placing the books back to throwing books and manuals that haven't worked to one side. As the scene progresses the protagonist starts to trash the place grabbing stacks of paper and throwing them all over the stage, then starts to kick over the tables and chairs. As this happens some of the chorus avoid them and tidy up, some of them leave the stage the rest of the chorus hold the protagonist still and one member slaps them on the head with a newspaper and then the chorus holding them carries them out of the space. Lights out.
End scene

Scene 3 sensory overload
The scene is set with all of the shelves pushed to the back of the stage and the books manuals and papers on the shelves, the stage to stage right has instruments on it. And at back stage left there are decks and a stack of speakers. And the tables in the middle are reset. There is still detritus from the previous scene and there are piles of powder paint bought into the scene as the band plays on newspapers and that are placed about the stage and on the stage stage.

The scene opens at daylight light in and the chorus are still sorting out the mess from the previous scene as some of the chorus file in to sit at the tables and stand at the shelves, the sound coming over the speakers is the same mismatch of conversations but this time it gets louder and louder until it reaches a high volume. As my protagonist enters they sit with people and try to make sense of the interactions around them, as the scene develops a band comes on stage and starts to play as the lights turn down to gig levels, when the music becomes polyrythmic and the band kicks the powder paints off the stage the chorus push the tables to one side and start to dance now it's a lively gig venue and there are more and more chorus added to the stage throughout the scene, the protagonist starts to get into the scene as the band kicks piles of powder paint off the stage, the lights drop to low think rave scene and flashing coloured lights the band keeps playing and now the dj starts playing a mix of the samples from the scenes, the gibberish and other languages getting mixed as samples with the polyrhythmic music the sounds all getting mixed together until they make breakcore. By this point the chorus are going crazy flinging powder paint and confetti cannons, they're putting on and wearing masks and costumes and changing with other chorus members as they appear throughout the club scene until no one is recognisable anymore. The protagonist then gets wrapped in cling film and tied up by the chorus, as the music turns into breakcore and the flashing strobes different light and paint dust still in the air, with a spotlight strobing on the protagonist who is full of tension but unable to move as they're being cling filmed to themselves and tied to the spot. When the wrap is done the music stops suddenly the chorus leave and the protagonist is left tied up centre stage tied with a spotlight on them as they lie down exhausted and confused the scene ends lights out.
End scene end of act 1

Act 2: at your own pace:

Scene 1: the othering:

The scene is set with costume pieces around the stage.

The scene opens with low light on the protagonist who has their arms cut out only to be taped to crutches by the chorus, they then have stilts added to their feet and get other costume bits added to them until it is only their face that isn't covered all manner of things have been added to them to change they're shape, then have them get covered by a cape/animal skin, and wings are added as the chorus members add things to the character they exit the stage and chorus members dressed as animal tamers come on stage as this jim Henson esque protagonist gets lead off stage.
End scene

Scene 2 diagnosis,
The scene is set with a desk back centre stage.

Chorus lead back on the protagonist in costume, the spotlight is on them still they're lead to the centre of the stage and tied down, there is distorted speech on the speakers that goes into recognisable speech welcoming in the protagonist to the doctors office, it then explains the different symptoms of autism and the different difficulties experienced by the protagonist scene by scene so far, going on to explain the biomedical view of autism and culminating with how autists feel that autism is a set of differences within the neuro diverse set of mental differences, and most of the world is made for the neuro typical there is space for finding your pace and place within the world,
So while this is being said over the speakers, the chorus remove all of the pieces of costume leaving only the wings and the ropes as the scene gradually gets lit to the doctors office the protagonist then shakes the hand of the doctor and leaves by being taken off the scene in the air by the ropes.
End scene

Scene 3: coping within the disarray:
The scene is set like the first scene but changes to the third scene. By the checkout being replaced by a stage and instruments on stage left and at the rear the speakers and the dj is be in added,

The scene starts with our protagonist in their space again lights only on that area this time they navigate the spaces in the first act well they then leave the supermarket as the cafe scene get a created behind them, the protagonist enters the cafe stage left and meets some friends and interacts with them and the bands starts as the scene changes into a busy gig venue, as the protagonist navigates this scene dancing around with their friends and the lights go down again this time joining in with the dancing and the costumes and the breakcore this time still mixed with different samples from the play. The lights and music slow and stop and the chorus exit the stage taking things with physical goodbyes like handshakes and hugs. There is a bed wheeled on stage to the area that was the protagonists bedroom as the chorus close them in with shelves and they walk towards it, and everyone leaves the stage the lights turned low as the protagonist gets into bed. lights off.
Scene end

Done for now, any improvements, things to clarify, additional information, formatting issues or anything else as this is my first attempt at writing a play.
Also if you know a good guide for the format to a stage show script that would also be very useful

yeah so next part review and revise

DAY 23

Dec 07 2018

DAY 24

Dec 08 2018

DAY 25

Dec 09 2018

DAY 26

Dec 10 2018

DAY 28

Dec 12 2018

DAY 30

Dec 14 2018

DAY 31

Dec 15 2018

DAY 33

Dec 17 2018

DAY 35

Dec 19 2018

DAY 36

Dec 20 2018

DAY 37

Dec 21 2018

DAY 39

Dec 23 2018

DAY 41

Dec 25 2018

DAY 43

Dec 27 2018

so yesterday i hung out at namahstay and did my clown workshop ate a meal paid for by a client, tried to sort a few things and tried to go to bed early, chotu was super drunk wben i got home and he asks me to leave, procedes to break my oil jar by accident as he was so drunk, i told him he cant drink like that, he gets into such a state, anyway im upset my oil jar is gone but what to do....

DAY 44

Dec 28 2018

today i got up early ate a breakfast of fruit and went to mapusa and calungute. got lots of material for rope darts, and silk things and then went to the dub party i felt so super tired that i had to leave the party at 230 and i fell asleep with my phone and glasses still on...

DAY 45

Dec 29 2018

DAY 47

Dec 31 2018

DAY 50

Jan 03 2019

DAY 52

Jan 05 2019

DAY 53

Jan 06 2019

DAY 54

Jan 07 2019

DAY 57

Jan 10 2019

DAY 58

Jan 11 2019

DAY 59

Jan 12 2019

DAY 61

Jan 14 2019

DAY 63

Jan 16 2019

i went out to get multivitamins, some ibuprofen and saw aster and kyle, then saw shiva and nathen, checked to see if linda was in, then got some veg and came back did a load of cooking took my cacoughany of pain killers and sickness meds and slept til 4am and watched the second half of the matrix trilogy and re wrapped my tattoo repeatedly. now im awake but not awake, thinking of staying up a little while to draw and watch the film and go back to sleep for a bit

DAY 64

Jan 17 2019

DAY 67

Jan 20 2019

so i went out yesterday, managed to speak to namahstay and get unbanned, i painted a picture but the face was no good, i taught jordan how to tattoo and did a first tattoo on harry, and mostly moseyed about my day slowly, im a bit upset however as anya no longer wishes to speak to me every day to have a consistent dialogue, which i understand but i now have no phone connection, i havr the occasional message but no consistent deep conversation, one less thing tying me to the world back home, the occasional video chat doesnt really replace this and my other partners dont talk to me much if its not practicable to see me in person unless its a me reaching out to check in or vice verca but now i just feel more alone and that im lacking any real connection, its the one thing i dislike about travelling is meeting real genuine people who are down to earth and down to create a real connection are very few amd far between, i can always find someone to talk to about vapid stuff but when you travel alone you are never really alone as many people are aroubd you its just they arent your good friends who you can discuss the finer points of the void with, anyway im mourning the loss of consistency from back home and its making me think that i feel very lonely here, not in the sense where i dont feel like im stuck in silence with noone understanding the language i speak, but more in the sense that im really at odds with the kinds of people who come to goa, its party people, the wrong kinds of hippies and tourists or the occasional real traveller, but those people arent my people, i miss the feeling of being in love and having that love in front of me or to have it not so far from my thoughts, as it stands i now have less love near me and my thoughts as i now recieve less messages, yes i feel loved as i know i am but thats a cosmic universal someone out there loves me kind of love which is tapped into and not felt in the same way as actually having connection with someone, i guess i miss connection and with the cycle of change in flow im now lacking any close friends here that i can talk to and lacking the physical movement i require to be ok with all that, my fire dart is broken and i have no idea how to replace or fix it here where everything is a bodge job or super expensive, so many of my outward expressions of self are impeded by my tattoo healing process and the fact anya cant deal with being reminded about how far away i am without it causing distraction to her work and day, this is very sad for me as it makes me feel like im losing something and theres no plus for me here, as i fucking hate phone and video calls i do them when im home ill or when requested otherwise i probably wont get to speak to my people from here at all... i have also had fuck all communication from friends really apart from mr dave which i appreciate very much... but this kind of shit people feeling is so fraustrating. and i dont want to have to remain distracted from others with my own things it makes me disconnect from people more and more and want to just be on my own as my faith in the world to give me a decent connection and allow me to keep it is shattered.... so i guess this path is supposed to lead me to a greater connection with myself but i dont like myself half as much as i likr some other people, connecting with myself is not something i wanna do at a gig or trundling around india, i came to india to gain self love and make connections and improve my rope dart skills, ive done some of two of these things, its not like i dont like myself, its not that i dont tell myself im enough every day, its not that i dont love myself i just want some insense love feelings and to not feel like im alone with noone to express myself too. a lack of expression is whats doing me in right now, i cant express myself or my feelings well enough to a real person its just in the echo chamber of my own consciousness, i just want some reflection and someone who i feel is able to hold space and some fucking cuddles and cute shit... why is that not really a thing these days with all of these conscious people all talking and not listening to me so i feel shit as a response to all this stuff... oh well ill see how today goes

DAY 68

Jan 21 2019

DAY 69

Jan 22 2019

DAY 71

Jan 24 2019

DAY 77

Jan 30 2019

DAY 83

Feb 05 2019

DAY 89

Feb 11 2019

DAY 90

Feb 12 2019

DAY 91

Feb 13 2019

DAY 92

Feb 14 2019

DAY 93

Feb 15 2019

DAY 95

Feb 17 2019

so today i woke up and went straight to cookie wallah to hang with dan, mike and spoon, did some hanging out at maias did a few errands on the scootie, trained a bit on with the rope dart went to cafe milega for lunch and started experimenting with the untethered style of rope dart then we got ready for the show, the show was a success and we got a rider and costs covered so im happy with the things at the moment... anyway i am tired looking forward to leaving arambol and sad to have found out caren had left already... anyway i am looking forward to my last riva...

DAY 97

Feb 19 2019

today was my last day in arambol, i got up and ate a breakfast of oats and bananas and proceeded to organise my stuff in order to leave my previous place and go to joshs, it was still so hot even at 10am when i got there, but that could have been the bad packing and having to carry my stuff across arambol, i hung out at joshs for a bit reading stuff on my phone, i then went into town for a coconut and to claim my last meal from raja, i then hung out in maias garden all day waiting for something to happen about the video shoot, so i spent all day waiting around but in the end me elliot and gaia went to keri to take the video which was nice, im missing getting laid and masturbation isnt as satisfying as it has been for me recently... then i got a falafel plate and went home in order to repack and sleep... im not doing to well at sleeping but here i am writing my blog and trying to ko before my bus which leaves at 0845 tomorrow so i figured i need enough time to suower, hydrate and caffienate before heading into the busses and that palavah so wish me luck im finally tired now goodnight ill report back tomorrow

DAY 98

Feb 20 2019

DAY 99

Feb 21 2019

DAY 100

Feb 22 2019

DAY 101

Feb 23 2019

DAY 102

Feb 24 2019

DAY 103

Feb 25 2019

DAY 104

Feb 26 2019

DAY 106

Feb 28 2019

DAY 107

Mar 01 2019

DAY 108

Mar 02 2019

DAY 109

Mar 03 2019

DAY 110

Mar 04 2019

DAY 112

Mar 06 2019

DAY 113

Mar 07 2019

DAY 114

Mar 08 2019

DAY 115

Mar 09 2019

DAY 116

Mar 10 2019

Kudle Beach Rd


Gokarna Road


Madgaon Railway Station


Kota Junction


DAY 117

Mar 11 2019

DAY 118

Mar 12 2019

DAY 120

Mar 14 2019

DAY 121

Mar 15 2019

DAY 123

Mar 17 2019

DAY 130

Mar 24 2019

DAY 131

Mar 25 2019

DAY 135

Mar 29 2019

DAY 136

Mar 30 2019

DAY 143

Apr 06 2019

DAY 144

Apr 07 2019



Jai Gorimaya Goridham Baghana Hanuman Tampal And Water Fall










DAY 147

Apr 10 2019

DAY 149

Apr 12 2019

DAY 154

Apr 17 2019

DAY 157

Apr 20 2019

DAY 159

Apr 22 2019

Manali Bus Depot


I.S.B.T. Kashmere Gate


DAY 161

Apr 24 2019

northern travels bus depo



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