So after a day staring at more horrid monsoon weather, we boldly ventured out with two awesome people we met at our hostel. Not to be dettered by rain or the taxi driver that.. like the rest of taxi drivers in Bangkok seemingly only know the way to posh hotels and major landmarks. Anything else becomes a game of haggling over the price of destination they don't know after refusing to use the meter their vehicle comes equipped with. Most of the time this either ends with them driving off and refusing to take you or driving around bangkok aimlessly until you either get there by chance or they give up and they lie and tell you, you are there when its clear you are indeed not fucking there..or actually anywhere for that matter. However we reached our destination this time by me using sat nav and using my best a Brit abroad way of pointing and shouting slowly. The destination so happened to be a magical unicorn cafe in the arse end of a flooded alleyway. stepping inside created instant LSD flashbacks and a noosebleed inducing migrane from all the rainbow splattered walls. The food only added to that headache as every meal was mainly sugar based rainbow based foods. I chose the rainbow waffles which arrived looking like a kevin spacey in Se7en esc masterful crime scene of a unicorn sacrifice with unicorn brain matter splattered all over the plate. The plate itself included rainbow waffles, rainbow ice cream and rainbow cream. These guys where amazing they could rainbow anything. 20 minutes longer and i fear my own unicorn horn may have been rainbow-ed like the polite people at the massage palours do.
After ingesting all the unicorn cream which no doubt was meant to represent magical spunk we battled the taxi drivers back, bartered with a child over a pair of pink elephant hareem pants (for myself...which don't fit) And headed back for our bags and back into the taxi and traffic hell for our very nervy, rushed ride to the station and to our rickety as dicks 14 hour overnight train journey to Chiang Mai. Which is where i write this now. In my little coffin sized bunk behind a crematorium curtain, watching Bangkok fade into the distance as we pelt our way north. To countryside and calmness, after a hectic 4 days in southeast asia's city of sin, cheap pad thai, fried insects, people trying to sell scruffy backpackers suits, massage palours, ping pong shows, sex menus cheap beer and "very strong cocktails" which are no doubt just pure ethanol and red bull.


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